Today is hard… I am having a lot of stress de to last-minute notice of some resit exams I had today… I made it trough the first one, but the second one, I am not too sure of… I feel like such a loser… had I only knew I had these exams today I would have prepared, but I totally missed it! In this case I would normally visit the supermarket right after the exams and buy all the binge-food I could afford… I would spent up tp 50 dollars a time… which is CRAZY!

But it helped… It helped numbing my feeling for a moment. To feel the joy of eating, but then soon (very soon) the feeling would return and I would be AND mad on myself for screwing up my exams AND because of binging and purging again… In the end it would not make me feel any better but worse. And today I saw this… today I was stronger than this and that is a great feeling.

I  am doing pretty well for over a week now, no binge and only one purge and I am proud of myself. I don’t want to go back…. I don’t want to screw my recovery up because of stress, pain and emotions…. As there is no life without those… I need to learn to deal with these before I can finally be free and LIVE!

I know there will be more ocassions where this urge will come up… expected and unexpected…. but I am ready to fight. I weant to beat this. I.AM.STRONGER.THAN.THIS